Aug
09

Motherhood – A Fine Balancing Act

balancing stonesEvery day for me is a new day to aim for reaching that much sought after balance between being a great Mum and wife and fulfilling my own needs for self expression and achievement.

Unlike other bloggers who seem to be able to maintain the discipline of writing articles (even multiple articles) every day, my writing seems to be much more sporadic – I prefer to write when the desire hits and something spurs me to share my opinions. Unfortunately more often than not, the inspiration passes by as I’m entertained by my little boy and his funny daily antics and the day is swallowed in what seems to be the blink of an eye.

I so much want to be the perfect mum – doesn’t every mum? I’m wondering though if this desire for (my idea of) perfection will be a lifelong pursuit, two steps forward, one step back?

In my mind, perfect looks like:

  • Awake at whatever time I’m naturally awoken and feeling refreshed and ready to go after a full night’s sleep
  • A healthy, happy family
  • Healthy, nutritious and satisfying eating for all the family every single day
  • A thirty minute walk everyday
  • Playtime at the park out in the fresh air and sunshine
  • Free time to hang out with my little boy and do as we please
  • A two hour afternoon nap for my little boy so I can either write articles or create websites
  • Daily meditation
  • Strength and Interval training three times a week
  • Two dedicated half days per week to work (although writing and creating websites doesn’t feel like work)
  • Weekly massage
  • Some quality time with my husband
  • Living in my own beautiful home
  • Successfully running my own business
  • Everything under control and when it’s not, being able to “go with the flow”

This is my current aim point – a broad overview of what I’d like my life to be like – and on some days I can check off more boxes than others.

What I’m finding though, is that the days I try to push consciously to achieve as much as I can, I often feel great frustration regardless of how much I achieve – the “To Do’s” ticked off are never enough. Whereas on the days where I resign myself to just “going with the flow”, I feel happy and content regardless of how much or how little I have achieved in that day.

I much prefer that happy and content person than the frustrated, grumpy one (& I know my husband definitely prefers the happy content me) so perhaps it’s time to let go of what I think other people think I should be doing (yes I really do care too much about what others think of me) and do what fills me with joy and let that joy ripple out to those around me.

I’d really like to hear how you balance being a Mum and being just you – sharing of hints and tips is always greatly appreciated :)

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About Helena

Helena is a stay at home Mum to one funny, intelligent and very curious little boy. Helena & her husband are working towards creating a location independent lifestyle that will enable their family to homeschool, travel and experience the world together.

Comments

  1. Kellie says:

    Love your `to do’ list. Fantastic.
    Wouldn’t you just love an extra four or five hours in the day to get everything you want achieved? I’m still working on trying not to stress over my `to do’ list. Since starting the blog, I sit up till 10.30pm each night trying to get everything I want in the blogosphere done, so I can spend more quality time with my two girls during the day. This, coming from someone who’s usually in bed by 8.30-9pm!!
    During the day, if bub is sleeping, I can usually tackle a few things while the preschooler is watching morning and afternoon PlaySchool. But other than that, have to admit Helena, I’m struggling just the same! :)

  2. Julie says:

    Hi, nice to find your blog!

    For me, it is just reducing my expectations. I would love my house to be spotless, but with 3 under 3, it ain’t gonna happen. I stick to a morning and afternoon routine (involving a load of washing, getting dinner ready, clean-up of kitchen) and then I just do one 15 minute task (e.g. clean bathroom) daily. I was trying to follow the organised housewife, but finding it way too much.

    One advantage of having all the kids close together is we all have rest/ sleep time after lunch for up to 2 hours. (I blog and catch up on blogs during that time or in the evening) I try to get out for a walk with the kids each day (about 30 minutes), but apart from that I don’t exercise. I hang out with hubby most evenings (we get the kids in bed by 7:30pm), but sometimes that just means being on laptops next to each other on the lounge!

    My biggest “to-do” is to enjoy this season of my life!

    • Helena says:

      Thanks Julie – I’m glad you found me too :)

      Yes, I so agree about reducing expectations – I can be a little anal about the whole tidy house, things in their place thing, but I am working on becoming less so.

      I’m still a long way from my ideal and still working on getting there.

      As for the Organised Housewife – I downloaded a couple of “home organising” apps on my phone & they ping me daily, I have yet to get through one day according to their plan.
      I wonder if there is anyone out there who can follow them consistently :)

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