Comments on: Is being a "Housewife Superstar" all cupcakes and roses? http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses Alternate Lifestyle Choices Sun, 04 Jul 2010 08:54:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Tina@RideOnToys http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-1#comment-109 Tina@RideOnToys Fri, 09 Apr 2010 21:25:20 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-109 This is a great post and you touch on some very tough subjects. I was a stay at home mom for the first 6 years of my children's lives before having to hit the work force. I loved being home with my kids but there were certainly moments where I didn't feel very stimulated and felt almost stifled being a mom and wife. I found a little outlet by having a card night once a week (if we could all swing it) with other moms in my neighborhood. Getting a 2 hour break and blowing off a little steam was a great way for me to gain perspective again. Here's hoping you can find a balance that works for you! .-= Tina@RideOnToys´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.toddlerrideontoys.net/choosing-the-best-ride-on-toys-for-your-child.html" rel="nofollow">Choosing the Best Ride on Toys for Your Child</a> =-. This is a great post and you touch on some very tough subjects. I was a stay at home mom for the first 6 years of my children’s lives before having to hit the work force. I loved being home with my kids but there were certainly moments where I didn’t feel very stimulated and felt almost stifled being a mom and wife. I found a little outlet by having a card night once a week (if we could all swing it) with other moms in my neighborhood. Getting a 2 hour break and blowing off a little steam was a great way for me to gain perspective again. Here’s hoping you can find a balance that works for you!
Tina@RideOnToys´s last blog ..Choosing the Best Ride on Toys for Your Child My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Should Both Parents be at Home? — New Age Retro Mum http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-1#comment-46 Should Both Parents be at Home? — New Age Retro Mum Sun, 28 Feb 2010 07:39:13 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-46 [...] my last post on “Housewife Superstars” I shared my beliefs about mums being at home with their children – I am aware that not all [...] [...] my last post on “Housewife Superstars” I shared my beliefs about mums being at home with their children – I am aware that not all [...]

]]> By: Charndra from Part Time Diaper Free! http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-1#comment-32 Charndra from Part Time Diaper Free! Sat, 26 Dec 2009 21:57:34 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-32 Hi Helena, I came to your blog today via some oddly circuitous route (as always!) and read this article. I think it is great. I am at home with my two boys, I desperately do NOT want to work in my previous job as a high school teacher as I know how mentally and time-demanding that would be, and that compromises would need to be made - and they would be the losers. On the other hand, I too need my 'projects' - I also call them that! I turn my interests into websites and flow from one to the next. In time, perhaps they will supplement our income. Meanwhile, I think it is great that I have them to work on as my 'job' - the mental activity my mind needs. I guess for me the hardest part about being at home is the lack of recognition of the effort mothers put in - the comments about 'not working' and 'when you go back to work', all the while I think I am working 24 hours a day, just not for any financial compensation! The ongoing conundrum... Hi Helena,
I came to your blog today via some oddly circuitous route (as always!) and read this article. I think it is great.

I am at home with my two boys, I desperately do NOT want to work in my previous job as a high school teacher as I know how mentally and time-demanding that would be, and that compromises would need to be made – and they would be the losers.

On the other hand, I too need my ‘projects’ – I also call them that! I turn my interests into websites and flow from one to the next. In time, perhaps they will supplement our income. Meanwhile, I think it is great that I have them to work on as my ‘job’ – the mental activity my mind needs.

I guess for me the hardest part about being at home is the lack of recognition of the effort mothers put in – the comments about ‘not working’ and ‘when you go back to work’, all the while I think I am working 24 hours a day, just not for any financial compensation!

The ongoing conundrum…

]]> By: HelenaDenley.com» Should Both Parents be at Home? http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-1#comment-33 HelenaDenley.com» Should Both Parents be at Home? Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:30:04 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-33 [...] my last post on “Housewife Superstars” I shared my beliefs about mums being at home with their children – I am aware that not all [...] [...] my last post on “Housewife Superstars” I shared my beliefs about mums being at home with their children – I am aware that not all [...]

]]> By: Jenny http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-1#comment-31 Jenny Sun, 21 Jun 2009 02:44:18 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-31 I loved this post and you are right that you need something more than being a wife and mom and thats okay! We need to have our own individuality so we can be a WHOLE, happy, balanced person because our husbands and children need happy, mentally stable, healthy mothers. I think that once we decide we don't need to "have it all" as far as career AND family we tend to make our family our all and forget about ourselves, we even feel guilty for taking time for our needs. But everyone else gets a piece of us, we need a piece of us as well. We have to remember that taking care of ourselves , our interests and our needs that we are taking care of our families at the same time. The best wife and mom is a happy and relaxed wife and mom. I loved this post and you are right that you need something more than being a wife and mom and thats okay! We need to have our own individuality so we can be a WHOLE, happy, balanced person because our husbands and children need happy, mentally stable, healthy mothers. I think that once we decide we don’t need to “have it all” as far as career AND family we tend to make our family our all and forget about ourselves, we even feel guilty for taking time for our needs. But everyone else gets a piece of us, we need a piece of us as well. We have to remember that taking care of ourselves , our interests and our needs that we are taking care of our families at the same time. The best wife and mom is a happy and relaxed wife and mom.

]]> By: Should Both Parents be at Home? | New Age Retro Mum http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-1#comment-30 Should Both Parents be at Home? | New Age Retro Mum Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:35:48 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-30 [...] my last post on “Housewife Superstars” I shared my beliefs about mums being at home with their children – I am aware that not all [...] [...] my last post on “Housewife Superstars” I shared my beliefs about mums being at home with their children – I am aware that not all [...]

]]> By: Helena http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-#comment-28 Helena Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:16:01 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-28 It sounds like you've had some angst in the past about what works best for you and your family. I think the best thing any woman could want is to truly believe the way she is living her life is the best way for her (& her family if applicable). If she believes it's the best way, then it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Unfortunately, I don't think society supports that idea fully - workplaces still don't fully support flexible working arrangements and stay at home mums still don't get paid for the work they do - so it's up to the individual to create their own way. It sounds like you’ve had some angst in the past about what works best for you and your family.

I think the best thing any woman could want is to truly believe the way she is living her life is the best way for her (& her family if applicable). If she believes it’s the best way, then it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Unfortunately, I don’t think society supports that idea fully – workplaces still don’t fully support flexible working arrangements and stay at home mums still don’t get paid for the work they do – so it’s up to the individual to create their own way.

]]> By: Kristine Scheul http://www.newageretromum.com/marriage/is-being-a-housewife-superstar-all-cupcakes-and-roses/comment-page-1#comment-29 Kristine Scheul Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:40:41 +0000 http://newageretromum.com/?p=115#comment-29 I didn't see the article on 60 min but I am kind of glad I missed it. Stay at home/ go to work/ maternity leave/ part time - some of these decisions are purely personal and some of them are without choice. Most of us would be the ones blessed with choice - what we don't appear to be blessed with is an ability to own or love our choice and damn anyone else who thinks we should have chosen differently. Take away the extremes of the pendulum swings in our scoiety and what you have are mothers, fathers and parents making these choices every day. Its our God given gift. We don't always get it right - that is also another gift - we choose, we make mistakes, we learn. What we shouldn't do is judge or place our values onto anyone else. Our most recent Governor General has said it best when in an interview she told the reporter that women can have everything - just not all at once. For a lot of people - me included - that is the most difficult lesson to learn. I have recently made a decision within my own business which will see me getting remunerated less than some of my other partners, even though at times I perform better than they do. I made this decision, this choice to suck it and see - will it take off more pressure to perform like everyone else if I just don't have to. I don't know. We'll wait and see - what I do know is that its in my power to stay, go, change things - I'm lucky. I choose to be here becuase I am convinced it makes me a better person all round - that includes being a better mother. I am doing what I love and I will encourage my children to do the same every day of their lives. I will teach them that it is up to them - that they get to choose. Do my kids care that I am at work? Not really - its all they have known but when asked what they love most about their mother one will tell you it is because I come and "pretend" to be a teacher in his class once a week and the other will say its the fact that I make the best birthday cakes in the whole world - with butterflies and everything. I didn’t see the article on 60 min but I am kind of glad I missed it. Stay at home/ go to work/ maternity leave/ part time – some of these decisions are purely personal and some of them are without choice. Most of us would be the ones blessed with choice – what we don’t appear to be blessed with is an ability to own or love our choice and damn anyone else who thinks we should have chosen differently. Take away the extremes of the pendulum swings in our scoiety and what you have are mothers, fathers and parents making these choices every day. Its our God given gift. We don’t always get it right – that is also another gift – we choose, we make mistakes, we learn. What we shouldn’t do is judge or place our values onto anyone else. Our most recent Governor General has said it best when in an interview she told the reporter that women can have everything – just not all at once. For a lot of people – me included – that is the most difficult lesson to learn. I have recently made a decision within my own business which will see me getting remunerated less than some of my other partners, even though at times I perform better than they do. I made this decision, this choice to suck it and see – will it take off more pressure to perform like everyone else if I just don’t have to. I don’t know. We’ll wait and see – what I do know is that its in my power to stay, go, change things – I’m lucky. I choose to be here becuase I am convinced it makes me a better person all round – that includes being a better mother. I am doing what I love and I will encourage my children to do the same every day of their lives. I will teach them that it is up to them – that they get to choose.
Do my kids care that I am at work? Not really – its all they have known but when asked what they love most about their mother one will tell you it is because I come and “pretend” to be a teacher in his class once a week and the other will say its the fact that I make the best birthday cakes in the whole world – with butterflies and everything.

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